In my practice I see couples who have ranges of argument styles.  Many couples who first come to see me for counseling tell me that they use yelling matches, name-calling, and put-downs as their main form of communication in an argument.  Other couples are disconnected, shut off, and do not connect with each other. 

There are several tips that are helpful to keep in mind when having a sensitive discussion with one’s spouse.  It is important that both parties are in agreement on a good time to talk, both are well rested, and both partners are not overly stressed or angry.   Using the “D” word (divorce) when angry, arguing in front of the children, and only looking at your spouse’s flaws are no-no’s when arguing.  Today I want to focus on staying on topic in arguments.